This time last Birthday I was licking some serious wounds.
I was alone, I was miserable and I had just miscarried. I knew I would be fine. I am the grown-up. I worried more about the children, their trauma of experiencing first-hand, a South African-style armed robbery. Their loss of both their innocence and the only life they knew. Those 45 minutes on that Monday morning changed everything. New country, new life, new friends. Adapting, comparing, learning, surviving. Witnessing the transition in Adam from being the shy, insecure and scared little boy in those first days at his new school, to the boy soon after that everyone wanted to play with, sit next to and be friends with. And Noam, always smiling, outgoing, confident: before and after. Everything happens for a reason, and with our loss of South Africa, we also gained Israel.
And me. A year later. A Birthday later. I have a lot to be proud of. I survived the Summer, and the very mild Winter, I survived without a pool, I survived more failed IVF attempts, I survived being a mostly single parent, I survived being the maid/gardener/baby-sitter. I survived without my friends and family, who, without them, I probrably would not have had the tools to cope.
I still feel that my head is 'just above' water, but I don't feel like I am drowning anymore.
HYDROSALPINX INFORMATION
"Q: In which cases does removal of the fallopian tubes improve the outcome?
A: In recent years, impressive evidence has shown that hydrosalpinx (swollen fallopian tubes, filled with fluid) can reduce chances of implantation. It seems that the reason for this is that the fluid in the fallopian tubes contains inflammatory products that leak into the abdominal cavity and damage the embryo trying to implant itself in the endometrium. In cases of recurrent failure of IVF therapy, the condition of the fallopian tubes should always be assessed using a hysterosalpingogram and ultrasound scan. If the state of the fallopian tubes is very poorly, and might affect the implantation of the embryos, the benefit of their removal should be considered. The removal of oneor both fallopian tubes is performed by laparoscopy, where a laparoscope (a fine telescope) is inserted through an umbilical incision."
