Thursday, February 21

Almost pregnant

Just as I expected, it was all in vain. All the prayers, all the blessings, all the millions of injections, all the pills, all the pessaries, the anaesthetic, all the poking and prodding in my innards, all the loss of dignity, the praying and pleading at the Wailing Wall, all the stupid 'positive thinking' and all the hope. All in vain.

Negative. Again.

I really knew it, the urine sticks of the past week had already confirmed this fact. So no real shocker.

Just such a shame, also knowing that 'they' or one of 'them' really tried, but just couldn't quite make it.

So what does it mean, was I pregnant? Technically, yes, for all of 5 minutes. Does it mean I miscarry now? I really don't know. I think it is called a 'chemical pregnancy' or 'chemical miscarriage' or something like that.

I have spoken to the Profman now and he asked me to call again on Sunday to decide our next step, ie. Salpingectomy; complete tubal removal. I am doubling my chances by doing this.

So onward with the drama that has become my life.


"Q: In which cases does removal of the fallopian tubes improve the outcome?
A: In recent years, impressive evidence has shown that hydrosalpinx (swollen fallopian tubes, filled with fluid) can reduce chances of implantation. It seems that the reason for this is that the fluid in the fallopian tubes contains inflammatory products that leak into the abdominal cavity and damage the embryo trying to implant itself in the endometrium. In cases of recurrent failure of IVF therapy, the condition of the fallopian tubes should always be assessed using a hysterosalpingogram and ultrasound scan. If the state of the fallopian tubes is very poorly, and might affect the implantation of the embryos, the benefit of their removal should be considered. The removal of oneor both fallopian tubes is performed by laparoscopy, where a laparoscope (a fine telescope) is inserted through an umbilical incision."