What a horrific week.
I dealt with death, if that is possible, to actually 'deal' with death. I think it is more like 'feeling and breathing' death.
A very close family friend died of a heart attack early last Shabbat morning. He was in South Africa with his youngest daughter, and his wife was in Israel with the two elder daughters. His body had to be flown to Israel, he was buried on Monday evening on a cold and rainy night, close to midnight with close to 200 people saying their last goodbyes.
The most traumatic part of all of this has been watching people I love so much have to suffer and have this constant heartbreaking sadness with them. To see the wife totally broken, her lights out. To know that there is nothing I can do. Nothing anyone can do.
The Jewish faith has specific guidelines and rules of what to do in any situation, be it happy or sad. When someone dies the direct family members (parents, spouse, siblings and children) sit Shiva for 7 days from the funeral. This involves them doing nothing other than sitting on low chairs and 'receiving' people who have come to express their condolences and pay their last respects. A Shiva house is a very sad place.
The Shiva ends tommorrow night, and then we all go back to the grave again on Monday morning. I have no idea what to do afterwards. After the Shiva ends, after all the people go, when the mourners have to try and start piecing their shattered lives together.
How do you support someone who feels like she has nothing left to live for?
HYDROSALPINX INFORMATION
"Q: In which cases does removal of the fallopian tubes improve the outcome?
A: In recent years, impressive evidence has shown that hydrosalpinx (swollen fallopian tubes, filled with fluid) can reduce chances of implantation. It seems that the reason for this is that the fluid in the fallopian tubes contains inflammatory products that leak into the abdominal cavity and damage the embryo trying to implant itself in the endometrium. In cases of recurrent failure of IVF therapy, the condition of the fallopian tubes should always be assessed using a hysterosalpingogram and ultrasound scan. If the state of the fallopian tubes is very poorly, and might affect the implantation of the embryos, the benefit of their removal should be considered. The removal of oneor both fallopian tubes is performed by laparoscopy, where a laparoscope (a fine telescope) is inserted through an umbilical incision."
